It started with the Royal Wedding finally happening and everyone talking about the Princesses hats. I decided I would start wearing fancy hats more often, but not like those, because those were ugly.
Then I came to work and had not a great day because my project is not going that well. When I went to lunch I tried to pay for it and realized my Corporate Card was lost. I panicked. I was afraid somebody had used it to pay for crack and hookers and they would fire me. Also, I did not want to cancel it because I thought I would find it exactly 10 minutes after reporting it and that would be really silly. I tried to remember where did I use it last, and look for it. By now the crack and the hookers would have been paid already so there was no point in being hasty. I remembered, so I tried to call the restaurant I was in the night before. Couldn't because they wouldn't answer, so I drove there. It was not there. I went to the hotel, looked in every pocket of every clothes item there. It was still lost. I called them and they had it delivered in 8hrs.
I was in a foul mood. I had to drive in the very warm Alexandria spring for 3 hours, in a rental that smells like coconuts. I did not have lunch because I left it uneaten at the restaurant when I realized my card was missing. I had to have dinner by myself, because everyone else was gone to Cincinnati for the weekend. I hate eating alone but I had sushi and I love sushi, so in average, it was not such a bad dinner.
The next day I was supposed to drive to New Orleans, but I was kind of still in a bad mood and I woke up after noon, so a 4hr roadtrip seemed like a bad idea. I decided to skip it on Saturday, wake up early on Sunday and drive then. I went to the mall, spent and obscene amount of money on shoes, and then back to the hotel. I was kind of bored, kind of in a bad mood, even when shopping usually makes me fairly happy. Then I got into this stupid deja-vu mood, where everything that happened to me felt exactly like some of the things I felt some years ago, only I was in Louisiana instead of Brazil, and food is not as good here. I did not want everything to end the way things ended a few years ago, so I tried to fix it and instead I just made it worse, and more like a few years ago. I got really angry, I made other people angry... man, I just did not bring my A game with me that day.
I felt awful and went to sleep and then got some text messages from my oldest friend in the world. He is the oldest not because of his age, but because we have been friends since 6th grade, and let me tell you, none of my 6th grade friends are still my friends, only him and ID. His messages were just to tell me that he was still my friend and he loved me (as a friend). He never knew, but they made me feel a lot better in a moment when I was feeling really bad.
The next morning, as it usually happens when something upsets me, I was sick as a dog. I was supposed to drive to New Orleans, but I could not be away from a toilet for more than 20 minutes. The deja-vu feeling was slowly going away, but my stomach was rapidly feeling worse. I was in pain now, and it scared me a little because I was alone in Louisiana and I never know what the best course of action when in pain is other than eating soup. When the pain is actually in your digestive system, maybe eating is not the best thing to do... or maybe it is, it is only soup. I think I even had a fever as I got ready. I started driving and somehow I decided I was feeling a little better and I had buffalo wings instead of sopu for dinner!!!!!! I know, not one of my smartest moves, I know. You can imagine how my night went. The good thing is that they killed Osama, so at least there was something on TV while I lay there, awake, in between bathroom trips.
Then it was Monday again, and I came to work again, and my project is still not going very well. At least some folks I know are down in Louisiana and I don't have to eat alone anymore, so I start hanging out with them, and I am still a little in pain. The deja-vu feeling is way past me now.
A few days go by, and then I got the worst news about some things that I really really wanted to happen and they are not, because someone is being an asshole and there is nothing I can do about it. It was really frustrating for me, and for someone else. I try to talk to that person but I can't because that night they decided to go to the casino, it is 50 minutes away, and there is no phone signal. I feel so frustrated!!! Why should my life be decided by someone else, especially someone who is an asshole and has nothing to do with me!?!?!? AGGHHHH Impotence is the worst feeling in the world. The deja-vu feeling is long gone, but the deja-vu main character comes to my mind. Why is it super easy for everyone else to do this?? Triple frustration. I can feel my stomach twitching again. I lost 50 bucks in the roulette and made 35 on the slots. My mind is elsewhere...
It's been 7 days and it feels like 7 years. Thoughts of royal hats seem as belonging to someone else.
